Activities Night Confirms Freshman’s Desire to Get Really High All Year
An underwhelming visit to the SSMU Activities Night left first-year Arts student Gord Michaels confident in his decision to spend his year in Molson Hall hitting bowls and turning up.
Michaels came into the night “kind of down” to get involved with some clubs or student societies, but he left the Shatner building knowing that it would be irresponsible to let extracurricular activities get in the way of his commitment to getting fucked regularly.
“I just can’t be fucking with extracurriculars right now,” said Michaels. “ I want to make the most of my time in rez and once you factor in going to Korova, Tokyo, and Sangria Wednesdays every week, there’s only so much time to get properly toasted.”
The only organization that Michaels was even remotely interested in was the SSMU Ski and Snowboard Club.
“Yeah, that could be chill I guess,” conceded Michaels. “Don’t get me wrong, I love to get high and shred gnar pow, but I can’t bring my five-foot bong to the hills, and that’s all I really blaze with these days.”
Further reports indicate that less than 15 minutes after speaking to the Radish, Michaels was back in his room, having a dank sesh with the boys.
Michaels came into the night “kind of down” to get involved with some clubs or student societies, but he left the Shatner building knowing that it would be irresponsible to let extracurricular activities get in the way of his commitment to getting fucked regularly.
“I just can’t be fucking with extracurriculars right now,” said Michaels. “ I want to make the most of my time in rez and once you factor in going to Korova, Tokyo, and Sangria Wednesdays every week, there’s only so much time to get properly toasted.”
The only organization that Michaels was even remotely interested in was the SSMU Ski and Snowboard Club.
“Yeah, that could be chill I guess,” conceded Michaels. “Don’t get me wrong, I love to get high and shred gnar pow, but I can’t bring my five-foot bong to the hills, and that’s all I really blaze with these days.”
Further reports indicate that less than 15 minutes after speaking to the Radish, Michaels was back in his room, having a dank sesh with the boys.