TA has entire conference convinced he’s done the reading
After a night of debauchery, History Masters student Oliver Blume managed to salvage his reputation as a respectable TA, convincing his entire conference section that he had actually done the required reading for the week.
Blume had planned to stay in Thursday night and “power through” the dry, 20-page course pack article, but roommate Eric Betel convinced him instead to smoke several “fat” blunts and see five straight Pop Montreal shows at Divan Orange.
“Definitely not the smartest move on my part,” admitted Blume. “It’s only my first year as a Masters student so I’m still getting used to the whole ‘giving a shit during conferences’ thing. But hey, considering the circumstances, I think I nailed it.”
Strategically milking the introduction period for as long as he could, Blume began the conference with a name game that required everyone to state their name, major, hometown, birthday, favourite Beatles song, preferred Subway order, the five things they would bring to a desert island, and the last Adam Sandler movie they enjoyed.
“I was thinking of adding in ‘most exciting family vacation memory’ to the list, but I didn’t want to make it seem like I was stalling,” said Blume.
With 20 minutes still remaining after the name game, Blume addressed the class with an artificial confidence that masked his internal discomfort and asked: “So what did you think of the reading?”
At that point, first-year keener Tonya Martin took over the discussion and allowed Blume to sit back and contribute solely by shifting intermittently between enthusiastic smiles and critical nods while stroking his beard with his fingers. Martin left the classroom feeling pleased about her first Intro to European History conference.
“I’ve heard some stories from older friends about crappy TAs,” said Martin. “But Oliver doesn’t try to force his views on you; he’s such a thoughtful moderator!”
As of press time, Blume was last seen taking a midday nap at his grad student work desk in the McLennan library.
Blume had planned to stay in Thursday night and “power through” the dry, 20-page course pack article, but roommate Eric Betel convinced him instead to smoke several “fat” blunts and see five straight Pop Montreal shows at Divan Orange.
“Definitely not the smartest move on my part,” admitted Blume. “It’s only my first year as a Masters student so I’m still getting used to the whole ‘giving a shit during conferences’ thing. But hey, considering the circumstances, I think I nailed it.”
Strategically milking the introduction period for as long as he could, Blume began the conference with a name game that required everyone to state their name, major, hometown, birthday, favourite Beatles song, preferred Subway order, the five things they would bring to a desert island, and the last Adam Sandler movie they enjoyed.
“I was thinking of adding in ‘most exciting family vacation memory’ to the list, but I didn’t want to make it seem like I was stalling,” said Blume.
With 20 minutes still remaining after the name game, Blume addressed the class with an artificial confidence that masked his internal discomfort and asked: “So what did you think of the reading?”
At that point, first-year keener Tonya Martin took over the discussion and allowed Blume to sit back and contribute solely by shifting intermittently between enthusiastic smiles and critical nods while stroking his beard with his fingers. Martin left the classroom feeling pleased about her first Intro to European History conference.
“I’ve heard some stories from older friends about crappy TAs,” said Martin. “But Oliver doesn’t try to force his views on you; he’s such a thoughtful moderator!”
As of press time, Blume was last seen taking a midday nap at his grad student work desk in the McLennan library.