Evil spirits underneath McTavish taking longer to exorcise than previously expected
In her report to McGill’s Board of Governors this week, Principal Suzanne Fortier speculated that it would be at least another month until all the demons and spiritual entities residing under McTavish Street are fully exorcised.
Fortier urged students and faculty to remain patient with the project, which began excavation on April 30 and will fail to meet the crucial pre-Halloween completion deadline that was initially scheduled.
“This has been a difficult process for all of us, but we will persevere,” said Fortier. “Obviously we never intended to give the lingering spirits the chance to run rampant on the spookiest day of the year, but we’ll just have to stay positive and remember that there will soon be a time where McGill is once again known as one of the world’s top spirit-free academic institutions.”
The Exorcise McTavish project was first proposed in February 2013, after a string of budget cuts, world ranking drops, and frequent flooding on McTavish Street left the university’s administration wondering if supernatural activity was the cause of all its misfortune. Testimony from the student swept away in the infamous January 2013 flood backed up their suspicions.
“Right before I got knocked over by the current, I’m almost positive I heard the voice of a demon whispering maniacally in my ear,” explained Flood Girl, who agreed to grant a rare interview, but is still requesting anonymity. “It sounded like he was saying, 'Three cheers for McGill: Flood, flood, flood!'”
When discussing the reasons behind the project’s slow progress, Fortier did concede that their decision to pass on hiring a full-time exorcist overseer might have contributed to the stagnancy.
“In the planning stages we did consult with a professional exorcist, but we did not retain his services,” said Fortier. “These guys aren’t cheap, and it hardly seemed fiscally responsible to hire a construction team and a round-the-clock McGill exorcist. However, we still remain confident that the sound of incessant drilling will be enough to overpower and eradicate the spirits.”
Despite some concern on campus about the possibility of actual spirits potentially showing up at the Students’ Society of McGill University’s (SSMU) 4Floors event, SSMU has assured students that any paranormal attendees will be held to the same Safe Space guidelines as everyone else.
Fortier urged students and faculty to remain patient with the project, which began excavation on April 30 and will fail to meet the crucial pre-Halloween completion deadline that was initially scheduled.
“This has been a difficult process for all of us, but we will persevere,” said Fortier. “Obviously we never intended to give the lingering spirits the chance to run rampant on the spookiest day of the year, but we’ll just have to stay positive and remember that there will soon be a time where McGill is once again known as one of the world’s top spirit-free academic institutions.”
The Exorcise McTavish project was first proposed in February 2013, after a string of budget cuts, world ranking drops, and frequent flooding on McTavish Street left the university’s administration wondering if supernatural activity was the cause of all its misfortune. Testimony from the student swept away in the infamous January 2013 flood backed up their suspicions.
“Right before I got knocked over by the current, I’m almost positive I heard the voice of a demon whispering maniacally in my ear,” explained Flood Girl, who agreed to grant a rare interview, but is still requesting anonymity. “It sounded like he was saying, 'Three cheers for McGill: Flood, flood, flood!'”
When discussing the reasons behind the project’s slow progress, Fortier did concede that their decision to pass on hiring a full-time exorcist overseer might have contributed to the stagnancy.
“In the planning stages we did consult with a professional exorcist, but we did not retain his services,” said Fortier. “These guys aren’t cheap, and it hardly seemed fiscally responsible to hire a construction team and a round-the-clock McGill exorcist. However, we still remain confident that the sound of incessant drilling will be enough to overpower and eradicate the spirits.”
Despite some concern on campus about the possibility of actual spirits potentially showing up at the Students’ Society of McGill University’s (SSMU) 4Floors event, SSMU has assured students that any paranormal attendees will be held to the same Safe Space guidelines as everyone else.